Are you one of those people who lack self-confidence? Do you suffer from low self esteem?
You are not alone, but fortunately there are many effective ways to improve your confidence and become a happier and more successful person.
Once a long time ago, a friend of mine told me that he was convinced self-confidence is a something you are born with. I disagreed back then and I still disagree.
Today, many years later, I still frequently encounter people who ask me if a person is born with self-confidence. No, you are not born with self-confidence!
Self-confidence is a state of mind that must be developed by each individual.
It is not given to you - it is created by you! It is within every person's power to become a more self-confident person.
Internal locus of control is a psychological term which is associated with self-confidence.
In simplistic terms, internal locus of control means a person believes that his or her behavior is guided by his or her personal decisions and efforts.
Learning skills and practice are also very important to consider when improving on your self-confidence.
So, how exactly should you improve your self-confidence? There are actually many things you can do to feel more confident in daily situations.
However, you must understand there are no miracle methods that will boost you self-confidence in 24 hours. It takes time and effort to raise
your confidence, but believe me, the result is worth every minute of the time you invested! Self-confidence can change your life in ways
you could never imagine were possible.
I will give you some tips what you can do and how to start.
1. Identify the source of your insecurities: What exactly is causing your lack of self-confidence?
In order to deal with the problems causing your lack of self-confidence you must first recognize your insecurities.
For example, is your lack of self-confidence rooted in not feeling beautiful? Deal with the problem!
Lose weight, wear clothes which make you look attractive, do something new with your hair. Or maybe you feel bad because of your
financial situation? If so, start looking for various ways to improve your finances or switch job.
Change has often a very positive effect on a person's self-confidence.
Remember that: "No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Never give it." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
2. Appreciate what you already have: Take a good look around you. Look at your friends, loved-ones, home, work, pets, etc.
Surely, your life is not so bad after all? You do have people who love you and appreciate you for being you.
Often, self-confidence is caused by the feeling of not having enough of something, like for example, money, luck, and so on.
By starting to appreciate what you already have, you can overcome the feeling of being dissatisfied or incomplete.
3. Keep working on developing your personality: A strong personality is the key to self-confidence.
Pursue your interests, develop your talents, follow your beliefs, and express your own style.
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
~ George Bernard Shaw
4. Decide what you want out of your life:
This is a very important step. Once you truly know what you want to do with your life, you can start setting up goals
and do what is necessary to accomplish them. Don't be afraid of dreaming because you are able to turn your dreams into reality.
5. Understand that no-one is perfect: '
Understand that even the most self-confident people can be insecure at times. Our insecurities and lack of confidence show us which part
of our personality we can improve upon. Life is not a straight road. We all must face problems, and learn how to deal with them.
Overcoming barriers is how we gain self-confidence.
6. Take action: Do not postpone things you find difficult or fear - just get it done!
Taking action is one of the most important steps in building self-confidence. Do not sit and just think about what you want to do.
Force yourself to take that small step necessary to move forward.
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."
~ Dale Carnegie
7. Treat failure as something positive instead of a disaster:
How can failure be something good?, you ask. It is very simple really. Failure is part of your experience and you learn by
gaining new experiences. Failure makes you stronger and your chances of succeeding improve the next time you try. So, do not be afraid of failure!
Treat failure as your teaching companion and not enemy.
8. Educate yourself: Never forget that knowledge is power. The more you know about a certain subject, the more confident you will feel!
9. Be positive and believe in yourself: Do not put yourself down and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Stop thinking about yourself in negative terms. If you keep repeating you simply can't do it, chances are good you will fail.
Negative thoughts can be dangerous. Your actions are determined by your thoughts and if your thoughts are negative, you will
become paralysed and not able to accomplish your goals.
Instead, be positive and believe in yourself! Say to yourself: "I can do it and even if I fail, I can simply try again!"
10. Smile: There are many benefits of smiling.
When you smile people often smile back at you and it makes you feel better.
Smiling is also one way of reducing distress caused by a situation you find uncomfortable. Psychologists call this the facial feedback hypothesis.
Even forcing a smile when you do not feel like it is enough to lift your mood slightly.
The expression on your face can encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by smiling you can feel more happy and more confident.
11. Start appreciating your uniqueness: There are billions of people on this planet but there is jut ONE you! You are unique! That knowledge alone should already make you feel better.
"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." ~ Oscar Wilde
There are naturally many other tips what you can do to improve your self-confidence, but it is my hope that these few steps will take you in the
right direction and you can become more and more confident with each passing day.
Good luck and until next time!
Cynthia McKanzie -
Your Life Lessons Guide|
Working with psychology on daily basis I encounter many people with different kinds of problems.
Many of these problems are easily solved with some guidance and right attitude.
Over the years, I have successfully helped and inspired many people achieving their goals, fulfilling their dreams, dealing with
a variey of emotions and developing their full potential.
It is my hope that my articles can help you become a happier person and better equipped to face life's challenges.
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